The 4th

My brother, sister in law, nephew and unborn nephew are going to be here soon! Happy 4th of July everyone. Be careful and eat plenty of yummy food with no food coloring! ;)

Why I stay awake all night with my babies

Last night was one of many trying nights. My youngest (5 months) has had trouble lately settling down for sleep. It's those nights I ask myself why, why am I doing this, why won't I teach her to self sooth through crying for 30 minutes or even an hour.
Then my reasons start flowing through my head, at 4am, instead of getting angry or frustrated, I try very hard to remember these things,

-She is a baby who belongs with her mother
-She is not ready to be alone
-She cries for a REASON, and it is my job to find out what she needs
-At this age she is, and should be, totally dependent on me

I have never heard anyone say being a mother was easy, so why is everyone trying to cut corners? Why are we so bent on making our own lives easier, when it's resulting in hurting others?

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you." Isaiah 49:15

Think about it.

Willow Sophia's Birth Story

My pregnancy came as a surprise to me, as I was breastfeeding my 10 month old son at the time. My husband left in late April to embark on his 9-12 month tour in Afghanistan, after taking me and our son, Liam, to stay with family. 

7 weeks after he left I began feeling very sick and dizzy. for several days I was so convinced it was not morning sickness, even though my cousin told me to take a test. I finally did, and the result was very clear. We were going to have another beautiful baby! I remember shaking so much I could barely hold the test let alone speak. I walked from the bathroom to my parents room, and handed my mom the test. No words, just intense joy. 

I remember my dad's face lighting up as he laid in his hospital issued bed suffering from ALS, it made me want to cry. It was the first pure joy I had seen from him in a long time.

That was one of my all time favorite moments in my life. 

My husband had no access to a phone at the time, nor video chat, so I sent him a facebook message. :)

Fast forward to January. Rob got to come home! I believe he came home 3-4 weeks before Willow was born. It was a very huge blessing, especially since we had no idea if he would make it. I was a really tired momma, after moving all over the place, over 8 months of being pregnant and taking care of our young toddler, I was ready for my other half. 

Willow's due date was January 11 2013, and she was very punctual! That morning at around 10am my labor started strong. We called the midwife, and family and everyone started slowly and quietly coming in to our tiny temporary home. Surrounding me with love and care. Willow was posterior like her brother and so I had another birth with extremely painful back labor. Thankfully, also like her brother, she was born quick. After getting into the birth pool, and pushing for around 20 minutes, my baby girl was born at 2:30pm at 8 lbs 3 ozs. 

My husband got to be there, my beloved dad got to meet her, and I had another truly amazing homebirth.